How To Get Your Life Back On Track with Meditation

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour"
William Blake

To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour. William Blake
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/williambla150124.html

 
You know what this is about, right? You’ve heard it before. You may have even given it a try. But you don’t find time and you’re not very good at it anyway. It just feels like a waste of time if it doesn’t work.
 
The reason why you are interested though is because of the ongoing challenges in your life. Whether it’s your health, work, relationships or finances, you feel under pressure and life feels like it’s out of control. You need something that really works.

Well, meditation (you knew that’s what we were talking about, right?) does work. There’s any number of studies now which point to its helpful effect on anxiety and depression*. Individuals who practise it point to its beneficial effect on their lives in very specific ways.

Did you know? Research suggests that meditation helps stop the natural shrinking of the brain which happens naturally with age and it can even help grow new cells**.

I’ll hold my hand up at this point. Vested interest, you see. I am a meditator and approach it with the zeal of the recently converted. You’re probably not surprised at that but it may surprise you to know how much it has helped me within a matter of months.

 
Stress and an Overflowing Bucket

The thing is, I’d grown convinced some time ago that my recurring bouts of chronic fatigue were a result of stress. Not massive amounts necessarily, just everyday stuff which has built up over a long period of time. In short, my bucket was full and every time another of life’s stressors came along, the bucket started overflowing and I became quite ill.

What to do? Well, from all I’d read and heard, the one thing which perhaps had a chance of helping me to empty that bucket was meditation. I’d tried it a few years ago and practised it quite often and then stopped for reasons which are still not quite clear to me. Since then, it had always been an aspiration to start again but I kept telling myself that I wasn’t any good at it and therefore there was no point trying because it wouldn’t help if I couldn’t get it to work. 


With A Little Help …

Fortunately, with the help of a friend, I realized something very important – you don’t have to be good at it. That’s not the point. The point is just do it – just meditate. Do it and keep doing it and it will change your life. It could be the best gift you ever give yourself.


Success: Ten months later I’m sleeping better, I feel calmer and more importantly, the ups and downs of recovering from chronic fatigue have been removed and I am making sure but steady progress to regain my health.


To be fair, I started feeling those benefits after about a month but I wasn’t completely sure so I decided to postpone judgement. Nearly a year later and I’m a convinced meditator.


Starting to Meditate
 
So, if you’re inspired to meditate (and why wouldn’t you be?), what can you do to start?

Well, I can’t pretend to be an expert but what I know I learned from a guy called Paul Wilson***, who has written several books on the whole concept of calm. He basically makes it as simple as possible and removes much of the mysticism about it. In other words, you don’t have to sit in the classic pose, worry about your chakras or say, “Omm”.

These are my basic five steps to meditating which I’ve adapted from Paul Wilson.

 
1. Find a quiet spot, probably in your own home and wear some comfortable clothing

2. Take some time to make yourself as comfortable as possible. I prefer a reclining position but I’ve also meditated lying down and sitting up.

3. Take a little bit more time to just lie and rest and then after a few minutes do a full-body relaxation or progressive muscle relaxation****.

4. When you are fully relaxed begin the meditation

5. Take a simple one-syllable word which has no obvious meaning. (I use “One”.) Slowly repeat it silently over and over again to yourself. Keep going for about 20 minutes.


There, what could be simpler?


Challenges
 
Especially to begin with, you will find your focus wandering and your mind will be thinking about everything from what you had for breakfast to a random stranger you met 20 years ago. At that moment, just accept that your mind has lost its focus and start again with your one-word repetition. Don’t think you’ve failed or that you’re rubbish at it. In fact, don’t think anything. Just gently re-focus on repeating your “mantra”.
 
With practice, the length of time that you are able to focus on your mantra will increase but that’s not so important. What is important, is that you keep turning up and you keep doing it. Meditation is a habit which after a few months you will want to keep for the rest of your life.

Tip: to build up the habit, try a red pen and a prominently displayed calendar. Put a red cross on a day on the calendar every time you’ve meditated and see how long you can keep it going. If you break the chain, start again the next day*****.

The research has tended to be small-scale to be fair so there is a need for a large-scale longitudinal project which produces some robust results. However, the best evidence will be your own.

Tip: if you like challenges, how about starting off with a 30x30 challenge? Task yourself with meditating every day for 30 minutes for 30 days. If you succeed, try 100 days.

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work out for you to begin with. There are lots of different ways to meditate and lots of ways to build up the habit. It may suit some people to start meditating for one minute, the next day two minutes and so on. Do what works for you and do it the easiest way possible.
 
I don’t think meditation is a cure-all. However, it might just give you that foothold back in life that you’ve been missing. Through calming and giving you the mental ability to cope better with life’s misfortunes, it could be your most important tool in re-gaining your confidence and your zest for life.
 
Keep Calm and Keep Meditating!

 
FAQs
How exactly will I benefit?  
Well, that’s hard to say but the evidence suggests that it does help with anxiety and depression. People who practise regularly point to other benefits such as increased creativity. I’ve told you the benefits to me and you may be surprised at the people who do meditate daily, including Oprah Winfrey and Jerry Seinfeld. Check out the Million Meditators page of Facebook which links to reports on evidence for meditation.
 
How long before I see a benefit?  
Again, it depends very much on how often you do it and for how long. If you were to do it every day for a month, for about 20 minutes, there is evidence to suggest that after that time you’ll feel a positive difference in your mental well-being.
 
What if nothing happens?  
Nothing does happen. To begin with you may feel it is a terrible waste of time because you can’t focus and all the things you don’t want to think about go through your mind anyway. You may not feel particularly relaxed at the end of the session. The important thing is to give it time, be patient and know that it works. Because it does.
 
Why am I rubbish at it?  
I’ve been doing it for nearly a year and I’m still rubbish but I’m still getting lots of benefits. There will be days where you can’t concentrate and others where it goes like a breeze. Some days you’ll think it was pointless but feel great afterwards and on other days the opposite happens. Don’t bother about whether you’re a success or failure at it. Just do it.


 

Related Posts
Feeling Stuck? One Thing You Must Try Right Now.
Effort, Education and Growth Mindsets 
Get Uncomfortable

 
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Coming Up

Future blogposts on how I confronted my mental blocks to progress and how a morning self-care routine was the difference between life and death for one young woman.

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* From https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22582738 quoted in Deepak Chopra's article in The Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deepak-chopra/how-meditation-can-help-a_b_8134058.html?ir=Australia

** http://thenewdaily.com.au/life/wellbeing/2015/07/05/renovate-brain-meditation/

*** https://www.amazon.com/Calm-Technique-Meditation-without-Mysticism/dp/0760715246

**** You can use this resource https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/MuscleRelaxation.pdf Personally, I don't tense my muscles first. In this resource, I would go straight to Release Only at the bottom of Page 4

***** I'm indebted to James Clear for this habit forming exercise http://jamesclear.com/stop-procrastinating-seinfeld-strategy which he in turn got from Jerry Seinfeld who just so happens to be a convinced meditator himself!


photo credit: bernat.rv <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/137220414@N03/28580877104">Serenity</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

Be The Inspiration

Are you one of them? Do you know one of them?

You know what I’m talking about. The countless people who have dashed their dreams and abandoned their ambitions because life has dealt them a tough hand. Awful things have perhaps happened. Debt, domestic violence or disability. Crises such as relationship break-up or unemployment. Long-term or serious illness. Loss, abuse or addiction. 

Or perhaps life’s constant challenges have worn them down. Workplace change, rejection, economic turndown.

Do you ever pause to think though, what a loss of human potential this means? People who wanted to achieve great things now perhaps lack the physical ability to undertake them. Or they’re pre-occupied with financial worries or haunted by terrible past experiences which limit their ability to function. Their confidence has gone and they are full of fear about the future.

Dreams of sporting achievement, of starting a business or academic attainment have now disappeared. Their skills are depleted and their performance has deteriorated.

What’s to be done?

Fortunately, there are many people in similar situations who can provide us with answers. People who have raised huge amounts for charity while being treated for cancer[1] or become advocates for others after suffering terrible abuse. People who despite all manner of knockdowns pick themselves up and risk the next one. There are people who refuse to take no for an answer as they campaign for justice - and despite the continuing injustices perpetrated on them[2]. I’ve got friends, family and neighbours who perform minor miracles in spite of their disabilities[3] or have become pillars of their community despite sometimes not wanting to leave the house. I’m talking about people who still manage to get up in the morning when no one else knows how they do it. People who always seem to exude positivity in spite of all they’ve been through[4].

Perhaps more than the gold medal winning athletes who perform at a level quite beyond us, surely it is these everyday heroes who can be the inspiration for the rest of us (and for those who are finding it hard to pick themselves up from the canvas).

What if they who have not yet made friends with misfortune could re-discover their ambitions and dreams? What if they were able to perceive new opportunities and aspirations because of their troubles?

Could they make an ally of adversity if they had new tools, an awareness of their inner resources and perhaps a community of people who could support them? What if they could develop a renewed confidence and a belief that they can achieve, not just despite their experiences, but because of them? What if they came to realise that they can still make a difference and more than that, can be an inspiration?

What if they could go beyond coping strategies and getting by and could create meaning and purpose in their lives through their achievements and inspiring those around them?

What if?

 photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85538582@N02/24924653073">Pakistan's Punjab must enforce new law on violence against women: rights group</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

 photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/67692800@N08/27197199515">Run For The 96 5k</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

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[1] Stephen Sutton who raised £3.2m for charity in four years after being diagnosed with terminal cancer aged 15. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27408818

[2] The families of those who perished in the Hillsborough disaster of 1989 fall into this category. Despite years of the authorities blaming them and the obstacles put in their way, at last justice is beginning to be done. See Phil Scraton’s excellent account in the updated version of “Hillsborough – The Truth” available from Mainstream Publishing 2016.

[3] My auntie had acute rheumatoid arthritis. Her fingers and toes were at approximately 45 degrees from her hands and feet. And she could knit!!! It’s something I never appreciated until after she’d died but what pain she lived with every day yet still made the best out of her life. And then I've got a friend who despite living with an acute version of macular degeneration, which has left him with extremely little vision, continues to produce astonishing photographic images, plays in a band, has his own consultancy, is a dad of two young children and generally leaves people in awe of him almost every day.

[4] A very good friend of my wife lost her daughter at a very young age and has had breast cancer twice. She is someone who is never far from our thoughts as not only does she get on with her life but does it positively and, with kind thoughts and cards, is always able to give other people a boost when they’re going through a tough time and makes the world a better place with her smile and laugh.